What do a Type-A-to-a-T, wicked-loving, Disney-obsessed dorkus and an eccentrically brilliant, gut-wrenchingly hilarious science-nerd, have in common? Dinosaurs. The metaphysical. Penchants for Taco Bell. The need to prescribe and discuss completely fabricated stories about strangers. Trauma. A longing for adventure. A connection with the stars. Everything.
Camden Michael, oldest of the the Duncan children, has been the Best Man to his Daddio since day one. When asked for his contribution, Camden said, “The best man at a wedding is like the body at a funeral. He’s expected to be there, but if he says too much, people start to get uncomfortable. I’ll keep it cool, Dad.”
Miss Ryleigh Anne, middle Duncan child, is so stinking, horribly, terribly, so, so, so freaking excited to be the family Jr. Bridesmaid! Ryleigh may be missing a few teeth, but what she lacks in chompers, she totally makes up for in hugs and “Wally-Whispering” skills.
Walter Wayne, the youngest K-9 bro of the Duncan Clan, stands before you in all of his Ring-Bearing glory. He is tough, he is snuggly, he is mildly insane, and most of all, he is just excited for his Momma and Daddy to be married.
Carter Christropher, the smallest of the Duncan dudes, is known around town as “Little Dexter” (as in “Dexter’s Labratory? as in The TV serial killer? The world may never know.) From day one, this little man decided his ‘rents were “definitely gonna need some security” at this wedding. So Carter gathered his crew and will stand before us all as Head Ring Security Officer.
The biggest-yet-teeniest brother to ALL of the Duncan children is our little man, Jax. He too was recruited to the Duncan Wedding Security Team, and will perform his duties along side his brother and cousin. He brings to the team an itty bitty stature ready for pets, adorably distracting puppy-dog-eyes, and absolutely ferocious doggy breathe.
Olivia Grace, daughter to our Maid of Honor and favorite niece to our betrothed, is Second in Security Command. She was made for this job… take-no-crap attitude, zero sense of fear, totally knows how to keep her boss Mr. Carter in line, and although they have nothing to do with her security duties, the pretty green eyes don’t hurt.
“Aunt Brandy” as she is known to the Duncan kids, “Coffin Buddy” as she is known to the Bride (because the ultimate friendship bracelet is matching black glitter coffins, duh), and “Our Favorite Housemate When It Snows Even A Smidge Because I Don’t Trust Her Driving ALL THE WAY HOME In This Kind Of Weather” as she is known to our Groom, Brandy is here to add one more title to the list… Bridesmaid.
Many of you may not know this handsome nerd, but this completely non-awkward charmer right here is our Bridesman, Mr. Ryne Siler. We had to use this super high quality photo of him so that you could truly SEE the depths of the award-winning personalty that drew our Bride to befriend him only 13 years ago. Thank you Wal-Mart electronics department… without you, none of this would be possible.
Our resident ghostie with the mostie, Ms. Nichole “Casper” Chandler, is here to represent for one of her best “ghoulfriends”, our Groom. As his Groomswoman, she vows to straighten his tie, make fun of him for being nervous, and pour his pre-wedding-jitters wine.
After meeting at the local barber college (while our Bride abided by the “no fraternizing with students” rule!), Ms. Madison and our Groom, dazzled by the strangeness of each other, spawned a fast friendship. A couple of years, a few dozen Redbull, hundreds of heart-to-hearts and thousands of laughs later, the squeals of “WTF?! YES I’LL BE YOUR GROOMSWOMAN!!” could be heard by an entire town.